yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
