How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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