so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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