either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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