somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
