You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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