Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
