my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
