oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
