It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
