You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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