i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
