well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
