If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Randomize
