absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
