My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
