nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Randomize
