You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
