Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
