Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
