If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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