I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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