i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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