was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
