Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
