So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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