I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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