After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
