I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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