He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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