hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
3pm strippers are depressing
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
So much rum. So many feels.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
