At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
