He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
