It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
