Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Randomize
