Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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