why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
