the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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