bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
