the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
