Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
