So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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