he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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