I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
