If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
