But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
