There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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