I feel like abortions should bother me more
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
