girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
