Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
