Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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