it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
